Swimming The Blur, Sinking in The Bull

Let's clear the air. I want to talk to those who don't have a problem with alcohol and drugs; that special person who uses, drinks at inappropriate times and constantly makes a mess of things. But only if you don't have a problem. This is not a sermon, not even a warning. It is an idea, a notion that life was not meant to wash down the drain in tiny streams of selfish acts.

If you have any courage left, you'll read on.

When I first set out to do this journal, my intension was spotlighting our similarities and differences on a cultural level. I wanted to show the good things that were happening, like the efforts to bring much needed drugs and care to AIDS victims in Africa, our magnificent Art Museum and Symphony, the library and the Zoo; the Urban League and the grassroots efforts to help people get it together, able to help themselves.

There are lots of people doing the good work. But just as it comes down to the individual, it also depends on the individual's personal habits and discipline. That is where we are failing miserably. We are not a sober society and that means we abuse everything!

I can't speak to those who abuse credit or food or sex or power. We are all guilty of that at one time or another. But for those of you without a problem - and you know who you are - it's time to take a good close look at your life.

Pretty ugly, no?

Let me tell you about a very close friend. He keeps a job but seldom arrives home without taking a drink or two. He helps out around the house, or with the kids, but those same kids have learned to keep secrets at a very early age. Like, daddy stopping at the place and leaving us in the car for a while, or mommy keeping her favorite "pop" under the seat and won't share. "Daddy snores funny and sometimes he smells." The kids would say, if they weren't so afraid.

This is nothing. He used to hand every other paycheck to a guy named "Z" who would hand him a tightly wrapped bundle of something. It would last about three days if he were alone, a lot shorter time with pals. Renting temporary relief for the pain that most certainly would follow.

But today it's that well-deserved cocktail. And who wouldn't drink if you had my life? Take yesterday f'instance. It was all I could do to forget about that...that...what were we talking about?

You. We were talking about you, maybe, but only if you don't have a problem.