The Shocking Answer

Here's a question I should not ask: did your father ever hit your mother? I am asking this not for prurient reasons, rather a prelude to a brief discussion about an item in the news. We have all heard the disturbing story about performer Chris Brown and his girl friend Rihanna. This horrifying slice of the American Dream has not only been played out time and time again in every form of modern media, including tabloid TV, text messages, YouTube and six degrees of social networks, it is about to become a 90 second public service announcement.

This is no exaggeration. A group whose mission is to raise awareness of the growing problem of domestic violence has reenacted the event as closely as police transcripts will allow. They are not so concerned with the sensational, tabloid news aspects of the event. The stunt choreographers do not resemble the recording stars. They are not even black, which makes me wonder if now about their motives then certainly about their courage. If you read the detailed description of what happened as this 19-year-old superstar navigated his rented luxury sports car while brutally assaulting the young woman, and did not squirm in your seat then may I suggest professional counseling.

Recently there was a survey conducted by the Boston Public Health Commission revealing even more disturbing news. The survey of 200 Boston youths age 12 to 19 found that 51% said Brown bore responsibility, 46% said Rihanna was responsible, and 52% said both were to blame for the incident. Many have suggested that the results of this research indicate a) the glorification of violence in our culture; b) a distortion of celebrity; c) a desensitization of our young people – and perhaps the not so young – to this kind of criminal act.

I must admit I am not really surprised by either the event nor the survey. We have become a culture of violence, perhaps we have always been. We began in religious protest and revolution and we grew by land grabs, slavery and near genocides. It was and is the law of the jungle and survival of the fittest. We are survivors. But there has to come a time when we say to ourselves and our children: enough! We have outgrown our animalistic instincts and can finally start treating each other with compassion and mutual consideration.

The shocking answer might be this: we still have more to learn before we can call ourselves truly civilized. But clearly we haven't arrived quite yet.